Aaaaaaaaaaaah. Sitting down at the end of a long day is such a sweet sweet moment. We are lucky enough to have just returned home from one of the coziest, joy-filled house warming parties I’ve ever been part of. So very happy for our dear friends and their wonderful new abode.
As we did some good ole down south front porch sittin, this very blog made its way into conversation. A few new writing topics were thrown about, which reminded me…feel free to pitch questions or ideas that might make for a fun/informative post. I’ll do my best to cover them all. One question from this evening was along the lines of, “How are you feeling? Like for real, how are you feeling?” And along these lines, also “How is all this affecting you and Ryan’s relationship?” Yep, we’re going all out shrink style.
How am I feeling? Hhmm…overwhelmed, excited, nervous, sad, happy, scared, confident, worthless, useful and often times anxious and insomniatic. I do find that if I focus on feeling grateful, all other emotions stop yelling quite so loudly. This whole project costs a hella ton less than most homes, but $100,000 is ALOT of money to owe, regardless. Some days this doesn’t freak me out. Some days I’m all, “HOLY JEBUS!” I’m also having commitment issues, which means I can finally empathize with most of my ex-boyfriends (emphasis on the ex). Building and buying a home has this way of quietly whispering, “Good for you. You’re settling down. Way to be all grown up…” I don’t want to settle down, I’m not grown up, I just want to play outside ’til dinner’s ready and stay up past my bedtime watching movies. So there.
How are me and Ryan? We good. This does not mean I have not pondered what the divorce rate is for couples building a home together. For us, the stress has alot to do with just plain not getting to hang out. Every moment is filled with a decision to make, an e-mail to send, a meeting, work, etc…It is essentially the stresses of the daily, amplified. But we do try to pause. To take a night walk with Soleil, watch a stupid show, or just enjoy a good meal together. I am super not in love with brides-to-be who spend six months of wedding planning in complete agony-crying and complaining because the this and the that and the blahdeeblahdeeblahblah. I want to scream, “You’re planning a @#%&^$ party!!! Have fun.” And this is how I feel about us. Don’t bitch. You silly little kids have been given the opportunity of a lifetime. Have fun. You’re planning a mother effin party.
Hey look at this!