Aaaaaaaaaah. I am writing this post from a body that got to take a big ole break today. Ryan’s mom completely spoiled me and Ryan’s sister with a girl’s spa day. Now I think every day should consist of a morning massage, sauna time, peppermint infused face towels, a leisurely lunch, and chocolate eating whilst gazing at the mountains. Thank you, thank you, thank you…a truly memorable day.
Lately we’ve been chatting about the logistical aspects of home building, but perhaps we should take a moment to check in behind the scenes. So far, my overall opinion of building a house from the ground up is: it’s amazing. I love the problem solving, the physical labor, the busy days and long nights. It is incredibly special to watch our two year old daughter help clear the land of sticks and debris; to be a part of the process and to be gaining an awareness of how our shelter is created.
What no one can really prepare you for is the stress and the emotional ride of this type of project. It is not as if we get to take a year off to pursue this dream. No no. This one is crammed into the cracks and crevices of days filled with 9-5 jobs, child-raising and all the other little life running arounds. Exhaustion ain’t no joke. And when it sets in, prepare for quick tempers and firey exchanges. There are differences of opinion that seem to come out of no where, disagreements on where money gets directed and POWER STRUGGLES. This is one that, for myself at least, I completely underestimated. For sure, Ryan has a ton more knowledge and experience when it comes to home building. It’s true. And because of that, he often takes a leadership role in the realm of all things construction. But wow, I was not prepared for the frustrations associated–the contractor who speaks only to your male partner, never offering you and ounce of eye contact, conversations that never include your name, jobs that you can’t do simply because they take too much, well, “man-power.” I try not to get too bummed out, but sometimes it just…sucks.
Although you would hope that it is assumed by all that you are an equal in your home building experience, I have learned this is not so. The reality is, you have to demand it. I do a ton of freaking research just to stay in the game, just to be able to attend meetings and not get completely lost in the conversation. My personality is one that doesn’t do great with feelings of inferiority. So, building a house, when I have really no idea how to build a house, is, you could say…bringing up some issues.
We want this blog to offer a real deal slice of our experience, so here’s a taste of the reality so far. And if nothing else, this has felt like a great therapy session for me, so thanks guys!